Of Love and Remembrances...

It has been said love should not, does not keep a record of wrongs. 

It is also true though, that is hard, sometimes very hard, to forget the slights and insults that have come across one’s way, much less the pain that comes with it. 

 But one of the things that I imbibed early on from my mother was that one should not forget the rights done to us either. 

Over time I guess I have learnt to forget, some due to the hazards of this thing called ‘old age’… :) 

and some willingly so, burying the recesses of the past into some dark corner of my mind.

But the one thing I have learn to keep within me is to remember, remember the good, the things, moments that made me happy.

Sunny mornings alongside a fence, when someone stood a while and listened to me vent. A day I woke groggy from an afternoon slumber to find a surprise baby shower; made more special especially since the pregnancy had been fraught with tension and fear of the unknown.

And of those moments when all it took was a text, a voice at the other end of the line saying it’s going to be all right. That day, when it seemed the bleakest, to find a letter from my mother saying she felt something was wrong and that she was praying for me.

Small moments, insignificant even for some. Not for me.

I remember every right done to me. And I am thankful and blessed. Even when days are dreary and darkness looms around every corner. Even when the voices around me and inside of me, tell me you are nothing, you will always be nothing. Even when the declarations assert themselves – Be yourself, Be selfish, You deserve it, you deserve the respect. Even as chaos and turmoil seem to be the rule of the day.

It is hard to explain how to forgive, especially one’s past; for that is a battle I struggle with constantly. Harder still to let go and be done with it.

But I have learnt that when I am thankful, I am at peace. For in thankfulness, we find the letting go. In gratitude, we release the bitterness, harboured and anchored in the coils of hate.

I guess that’s what it is then. Love, in essence, does keep a record. Of all the good and the pure and the lovely things. Something we need to remember, especially in days like these.

     

                     

    

        #Of Love and Remembrance

My friends say I should let go

After all, he did

Let you go that is

I know, my heart whispers,

I should

Just let go.

But still I see

The day, clear and bright

Your smile, so soft

So gentle, so not so condescending white

‘Tis hard I know

To believe that things must end

You and I, what was

And what could have been

But still I know

And remember still

The kindness,

Of that morning still….