THE NIGHT SKY

 

THE NIGHT SKY

 

Today my walk is different. To be honest, I almost did not go through with it. It has been raining here steadily, although it had dissipated by the late afternoon.

 

My head hurts. There is a heaviness in my heart and an equal, if not greater pounding in my head and I just cannot shake it off.

 

But I lace my shoes and I walk.

 

Outside the gate I can hear cars passing, an occasional bike. From the building next door, voices trail in. Men talking shop, a child’s petulant cry.

I look up and around.

Skies grey but here and there among my potted plants, a burst of colour.

Reds and white.

Life and loss.

 

It is a day that is hard for someone dear to me. It has been many hard days, this, the burden of fear, doubt, rage and the searing hopelessness that is now my nation’s indelible, silent badge of suffering.

 

Inside my head explodes with a million thoughts, while my heart grieves. Because honestly? I cannot do this long distance thing.

When grief palpable, cannot be shared.

Now one too many times.

And words on the screen are in the end, but words.

 

It starts to drizzle, a slow drip of the heavens.

I play my father’s favourite hymn as I pace.

It is a hard song to hear but far lesser than what is happening many miles away.

 

While I walk, I hope that through the distance they can feel my love.

 

Dedicated to all the ones we have loved and lost.

 

 

I still hear your voice

A song upon the skies

Soft lullabies

 

Now just

Bitter blue

Heavens arise

 

Now

Just this

Unending whys…