WHAT WILL IT TAKE?

So now, 194 days hence.

The year is almost at an end.

We are in November and tomorrow marks Children’s Day.

A ***** irony of sorts.

Considering children are being slaughtered every other second, maimed, physically, mentally, scarred with horrors they cannot unsee or unravel from their minds.

It is a bizarre world, the worst of our times.

To be brutally honest, and this is me, a person far (literally, albeit not metamorphically) from the terror and pain unfolding in my home state; me, willfully keeping myself at a distance; me, selfishly, because the alternative would have been a downward spiral into the darkness, ever present, ever consuming.

But it has been hard to remain silent.

The news cycle recently though, as in the WhatsApp forwards, and X threads are alarming.

Over the past few weeks, there has been

a) an escalation in rhetoric (from the other side),

b) a growing restlessness and frustration (at our end),

c) the glaringly hit-you-in-the-face obvious denial from the powers that be and

d) a helpless rage as we lie, in ruin, discarded and defeated, ostensibly forgotten by the nation and the rest of the world.

This week, I had the opportunity to meet up with a good friend, the first time since May 3^rd. Even as we met and talked, one thing kept playing at the back of my mind.

The fact that we could meet one another without fear or reproach.

That we could talk and share some moments of unfiltered ranting, venting, about everything that was happening back home.

How is that unparalleled you might ask?

Simply because we come from opposite ends of the warring sides.

What we did would have us both be labelled traitors to the cause, simply because we chose to meet and break bread.

And that?

That is frightening.

Since May 3^rd and over the course of the past six months, there has been a deliberate, controlled stand to control the conversation.

Any conversation.

The state media and to a larger extent, even the national media has been instrumental in pushing a narrative best suited to the powers that be.

Any attempt at rationalization, pointing to the facts, even at trying to focus on the ‘lets take a look at ourselves’ has been meet with swift, brutal action.

Homes vandalized, threats issued and let’s not forget the malicious trolling online.

I know what when I speak, while I do speak for myself, I speak too for my community and my tribe.

And whether I want to acknowledge it or not, what I say, will have larger repercussions, on the people I love, my family and friends.

But to allow it to filter my voice in the wake of this ongoing and rising insanity?

It is a hard, difficult choice to make.

And so while we wait, in silence, in servitude, in apathy and hate and fear and blind, visceral rage, we allow others the privilege of speaking for us.

Of speaking about us.

Of choosing for us.

Of controlling what lies ahead.

And unknowingly, unconsciously, we allow them the rights to manipulate, to thwart, to obfuscate and alarmingly, to lead us into a path that is not of our making or choice.

The recent cosplays (and I use that word deliberately) in battle fatigues is frankly speaking ridiculous, especially those that are wielding weapons of war like its Call of Duty in real time. It isn’t.

The ever increasing war cries, the bat shit crazy shrieks of let’s finish them all, all the endless reels and YouTube videos, are all just tales told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. You really can’t call it anything else (except its intended aim of riling you up, but substance? Nah, not for one freaking bit.)

So really then, what is the way out?

What should you, we be doing?

Having the conversations that matter.

Really matter.

As hard as it might be and as difficult to stomach.

As painful and heart-wrenching and soul ripping.

Where there has been wrong, whichever side, an apology to begin with.

Tell me honestly, has any one leader from any side, gone on public record to say that what has happened, is happening, is grievously wrong and that they are so sorry about it?

Has anyone come forward to say, this has gone on long enough, we need to find a way out, a middle ground to resolve this?

Has any single person come forward to say, we need to end this absolute travesty of a life that we have been forced to accept as normal?
Has anyone?

I think the answer is pretty clear.

If the answer is a no (it is) then I think we need to realize and understand that we can no longer allow the narrative to be controlled. At this time, we can ill afford to.

We have been told over and over again that he, she, they are the enemy.

That they need to be taken out of the picture.

And for the past half year of sorts it has been easier to believe that.

Much easier than watching our children sleep on cold, hard floors.

So much easier to pump a round of bullets into some elderly, hapless fathers and grandmothers.

Easier to justify the rage and hatred because why not.

Far, far easier than to look them in the eye and ask the whys.

Talk is cheap (and we have seen plenty, from the elected officials and the ‘other’ elected officials, the unofficial government that rules us), but conversations?

Actual, heartfelt conversations?

No, that requires courage.

So tell me, will you?

Use your voice? To speak or be spoken for?

“When you see the fallen dead
When you see the children weep
Tell me
What will you seek?

Another night, a second day?
A chance, a moment
To kiss their fears away?
Tell me
What will you seek?

A bullet, a head?
Atop a fence
What will it take
For the heart
Ripped, torn